Martin Copenhaver - "The Giving Spirit" (January 3, 1999)
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Transcript
Transcripts may contain inaccuracies.
- | It's wonderful to be here with you at Duke Chapel, | 0:26 |
especially on this particular Sunday in the season | 0:31 | |
of Christmas, when we celebrate Epiphany. | 0:36 | |
It's a day when we remember the story | 0:42 | |
of the Magi's visit to the Infant Jesus. | 0:44 | |
I've always loved this story. | 0:49 | |
I don't know what it was like for you | 0:52 | |
when you were younger, but it seemed to me | 0:54 | |
as a boy that the Magi were the best roles | 0:56 | |
in the Christmas pageant. | 1:00 | |
Clearly, they got the best costumes, | 1:03 | |
elegant, flowing, made of plush fabrics | 1:07 | |
and regal colors like purple and gold. | 1:12 | |
And each had his own distinctive crown. | 1:16 | |
And unlike the shepherds, who would make their entrance | 1:21 | |
from a side door of the church, the Magi got to march | 1:24 | |
in stately fashion right down the center aisle, | 1:29 | |
carrying their precious gifts, a spotlight on their backs. | 1:34 | |
As they ceremoniously laid their gifts before the manger, | 1:41 | |
the congregation would sing "We Three Kings of Orient Are." | 1:43 | |
I've since learned that, as Matthew tells the story, | 1:51 | |
the Magi were not kings at all. | 1:53 | |
They were many things in an age | 1:57 | |
when an educated person could still be many things, | 1:59 | |
an age before specialization. | 2:03 | |
They were versed in medicine, philosophy, | 2:07 | |
astronomy, astrology, divination, and magic. | 2:11 | |
They spent their lives studying the mysteries | 2:17 | |
and passing along a little of what they had learned | 2:21 | |
to others. | 2:24 | |
In short, they were learned and scholarly people. | 2:25 | |
They were eastern sophisticates. | 2:29 | |
They probably had tenure. (crowd laughs) | 2:31 | |
So contrary to the image presented | 2:36 | |
in most Christmas pageants, what we have here | 2:38 | |
are not three kings, but more like faculty members | 2:41 | |
from the Department of Astrology and Philosophy | 2:43 | |
(crowd laughs) from a fine eastern university. | 2:46 | |
That is, instead of wearing royal purple gowns, | 2:51 | |
we might be closer to the mark | 2:54 | |
if we picture tweeds and khakis. | 2:55 | |
But I love them nonetheless. | 2:59 | |
You see, as the father of two young children, | 3:03 | |
I always found it helpful to be able to point | 3:05 | |
to the Magi as symbols of the true meaning of the season. | 3:09 | |
When you're a child, it's easy to forget | 3:16 | |
that the true spirit of the season is captured | 3:18 | |
in giving rather than receiving. | 3:20 | |
"Christmas is about giving," I would tell my children. | 3:26 | |
"It's about giving as the Magi did, | 3:29 | |
"without any expectation of anything in return. | 3:31 | |
"It's about giving to others and giving generously. | 3:36 | |
"Giving is what Christmas is all about." | 3:40 | |
Like most children, when I was a boy, | 3:47 | |
I did not focus on giving at Christmas. | 3:48 | |
It was all about receiving. | 3:51 | |
In fact, as a boy, I was an inveterate package-shaker. | 3:54 | |
When no one was around, I would go to the Christmas tree | 4:00 | |
and attempt to figure out what was inside. | 4:02 | |
And I became quite good at it. | 4:04 | |
I certainly had enough practice. | 4:07 | |
So now, as a father myself and a package-shaker in recovery, | 4:11 | |
it's good to be able to tell the story | 4:17 | |
of the Magi to remind my children that Christmas is not | 4:19 | |
about receiving, it's about giving | 4:22 | |
without expectation of receiving anything in return. | 4:25 | |
It's about giving to others and giving generously. | 4:28 | |
Giving is what Christmas is all about. | 4:31 | |
In time I learned that lesson. | 4:36 | |
Now, as an adult, my most eager anticipation is reserved | 4:38 | |
for those other packages with my name on them | 4:42 | |
under the tree, the ones I am giving to others. | 4:45 | |
"Open this one first," I will say | 4:47 | |
if I can no longer contain myself. | 4:49 | |
"Open this one from me." | 4:51 | |
In fact, at Christmastime there's nothing I like more | 4:56 | |
than giving gifts. | 4:59 | |
Somewhere along the line in the slow, winding path | 5:02 | |
from childhood to adulthood, my idea | 5:07 | |
of a nightmare Christmas became not one | 5:10 | |
in which I received no gifts, but one | 5:12 | |
in which I was unable to give any gifts. | 5:15 | |
I think of the unshaven and bloodshot man I passed | 5:22 | |
on the streets of Boston in mid-December, | 5:27 | |
standing in front of a store window in a worn coat, | 5:31 | |
seemingly oblivious to the raw air of the night. | 5:36 | |
He gazed with what looked to be great and heavy longing | 5:40 | |
at the objects on the other side of the glass. | 5:48 | |
At first I imagined that the look of longing originated | 5:53 | |
from his desire to have some of these beautiful things | 5:56 | |
from that window, perhaps to receive them as a gift. | 6:00 | |
And that realization saddened me. | 6:04 | |
But then it occurred to me, perhaps the source | 6:08 | |
of his longing was something quite different. | 6:10 | |
Perhaps, like many in his position, | 6:12 | |
he would receive some gifts from well-meaning people | 6:15 | |
and concerned organizations during this season. | 6:19 | |
Perhaps, just perhaps, what he saw | 6:22 | |
in the window were all the gifts | 6:26 | |
that he longed to give to others but could not. | 6:30 | |
And truly, in some ways, that would be much more difficult. | 6:36 | |
Of course, I don't fully know how to interpret the look | 6:45 | |
on the man's face, but I do know | 6:47 | |
that from my own adult experience, | 6:50 | |
that it can be difficult to receive gifts | 6:52 | |
and to be unable to give any in return. | 6:56 | |
Have you ever known people to whom you just can't seem | 7:01 | |
to give anything? | 7:05 | |
Or you try, but no matter what you do they always seem | 7:08 | |
to be a couple of giant steps ahead of you? | 7:11 | |
You drop by her house with a tin of cookies, | 7:16 | |
and the next day she returns the tin filled with fudge, | 7:20 | |
and a bottle of wine, and a wheel of cheese. | 7:26 | |
Or there are those people, surely you know them too, | 7:32 | |
who whenever you give them a compliment, | 7:37 | |
they seem to brush it away and then proceed | 7:39 | |
to give you two compliments in return. | 7:41 | |
Or on your anniversary, you open | 7:46 | |
an ornately wrapped little package | 7:48 | |
and find there an engraved gold watch. | 7:51 | |
It's a beautiful thing, a source of delight, | 7:57 | |
unless you know that what you have | 8:02 | |
for your beloved is a box of chocolates. | 8:04 | |
All of a sudden, receiving the gift | 8:09 | |
becomes awkward, embarrassing. | 8:11 | |
You want to snatch it back and replace it | 8:15 | |
with something comparable to what you have received. | 8:17 | |
My family hasn't sent Christmas cards in years. | 8:21 | |
Since our children were born, somehow | 8:26 | |
we haven't found time to send any. | 8:27 | |
But there are people who, every year, send us cards. | 8:31 | |
They haven't scratched us off their list | 8:36 | |
even though they haven't received a card from us for years. | 8:38 | |
And I'm grateful they have stuck with us, | 8:43 | |
but I always feel a bit awkward about it. | 8:46 | |
I'm not comfortable always to be on the receiving end. | 8:51 | |
For once, I'd rather be the one to send the cards. | 8:56 | |
Let them feel awkward about it just one year. | 9:00 | |
It may be more blessed to give than to receive, | 9:07 | |
but sometimes giving is a whole lot easier. | 9:10 | |
There is power in giving, | 9:20 | |
and we want some of that power. | 9:25 | |
For children, perhaps the most important lesson | 9:31 | |
to learn is how to give. | 9:33 | |
But I have concluded that for most adults, | 9:38 | |
the more difficult lesson to learn is | 9:41 | |
how to receive something when we may not be able | 9:44 | |
to give anything in return. | 9:47 | |
Jessamyn West writes, "It may be more blessed | 9:53 | |
"to give than to receive, but there is more grace | 9:56 | |
"in receiving than giving. | 9:59 | |
"When you receive, whom do you love and praise? | 10:03 | |
"The giver. When you give, the same holds true." | 10:06 | |
I've noticed this about myself, and maybe it's true of you, | 10:16 | |
that in some ways it's easier to give care than | 10:21 | |
to receive it. | 10:24 | |
Please understand that this is not a boastful statement. | 10:28 | |
This is a confession. | 10:31 | |
Remember, there is power in giving, | 10:32 | |
so I would rather be the one to give care than | 10:34 | |
to receive it. | 10:37 | |
And I don't think I'm alone in this. | 10:41 | |
In fact, this past Christmas season | 10:44 | |
in my own congregation I was reminded again that many | 10:46 | |
of us are better at giving care than receiving it. | 10:50 | |
On the Sunday before Christmas, (clears throat) | 10:52 | |
we invited members of the congregation | 10:55 | |
to take poinsettia plants to those who are homebound | 10:57 | |
or those who have experienced some loss | 11:02 | |
or particular hardship or challenge in the past year. | 11:04 | |
Well, this year a number of folks found that | 11:11 | |
when they returned from delivering a poinsettia plant | 11:13 | |
to someone in need, there was a poinsettia plant | 11:16 | |
at their own door waiting for them. | 11:21 | |
And more than one person expressed some awkwardness | 11:25 | |
about that. | 11:28 | |
"I have to receive a poinsettia? | 11:31 | |
"I volunteered to give one, | 11:32 | |
"but I certainly didn't volunteer to receive one. | 11:34 | |
"Does someone think I need one? | 11:38 | |
"Isn't there someone else who might need it more?" | 11:41 | |
So yes, in many ways it's easier to give gifts | 11:47 | |
than it is to be on the receiving end. | 11:51 | |
There is power in giving gifts, | 11:53 | |
and we want that power. | 11:58 | |
As I've said, I used to praise the Magi | 12:03 | |
for bringing gifts to the Baby Jesus, | 12:05 | |
for making such a noble gesture. | 12:06 | |
After all, I would tell my children, | 12:09 | |
"Isn't giving gifts what this season is all about?" | 12:10 | |
But I have come to see that the Magi | 12:16 | |
were really rather poignant figures. | 12:17 | |
Normally there is power in giving gifts. | 12:22 | |
The Magi were used to being people of power, | 12:26 | |
so the gifts that they bring to Jesus are the symbols | 12:30 | |
of that power. | 12:33 | |
Gold, which is the substance that can make | 12:35 | |
any person feel as powerful as a king. | 12:38 | |
And frankincense and myrrh, substances which are used | 12:42 | |
to harness the world's mysteries through magic. | 12:46 | |
Under normal circumstances those would be gifts | 12:52 | |
of power given from people of power. | 12:54 | |
When laid before the manger, however, | 12:58 | |
these gifts are reduced to something meager and paltry, | 13:02 | |
like lighting a candle as a gift for the Sun. | 13:08 | |
They are glaringly useless gifts, | 13:16 | |
when you come to think of it, glaringly useless | 13:20 | |
for any baby and, particularly, for this one. | 13:24 | |
Does this babe in any way need such human trinkets | 13:27 | |
and trifles as these? | 13:31 | |
The gift of this season that diminishes all | 13:43 | |
of our gifts to insignificance is the gift | 13:48 | |
that God has given to each of us | 13:51 | |
in this birth we celebrate, | 13:53 | |
the great God, who sent the stars spinning | 13:56 | |
in their courses and rules over all, | 14:00 | |
who gave us life itself as a gift, | 14:05 | |
who could've chosen to remain distant | 14:09 | |
from things human, to observe human sorrow | 14:11 | |
and human joy with detachment, | 14:15 | |
but instead abandoned the privileges | 14:19 | |
of power and might in order to share the life we live, | 14:21 | |
the life of bright days and dark nights, | 14:26 | |
of salt tears and sweet laughter. | 14:32 | |
What can we give in return for such a gift as that? | 14:37 | |
We cannot begin to reciprocate. | 14:45 | |
It is a gift of grace, that is, a gift | 14:51 | |
that is not deserved and cannot be reciprocated. | 14:53 | |
We have nothing to give that can even begin | 14:58 | |
to balance the books, | 15:01 | |
and that can pose a challenge. | 15:05 | |
As the late Henri Nouwen noted, "Perhaps the challenge | 15:09 | |
"of the gospel lies precisely in the invitation | 15:12 | |
"to accept a gift for which we can give nothing in return." | 15:16 | |
So I have concluded that the humility | 15:25 | |
of the Magi is not manifest in their willingness | 15:28 | |
to bring such valuable gifts to an infant lord. | 15:31 | |
What is most humbling is the recognition that no gift | 15:37 | |
that they might bring has any real value at all. | 15:40 | |
These gifts, or any other they might offer, | 15:47 | |
are not anything that this babe could possibly need. | 15:49 | |
Before this infant, before this lord, the power | 15:54 | |
of giving becomes the humility of receiving. | 15:57 | |
Christmas, then, it seems to me, is about receiving a gift | 16:07 | |
for which we can give nothing in return. | 16:11 | |
That's why Stanley Hauerwas says | 16:16 | |
that a church is "a gathering of people | 16:17 | |
"who have received a gift without regret." | 16:20 | |
There is power in giving, and Christians affirm | 16:27 | |
that such power belongs to God. | 16:31 | |
That's not always easy to accept, | 16:35 | |
because, well, we'd rather be the ones with the power. | 16:37 | |
It's not always easy to receive a gift without regret. | 16:43 | |
In many ways that is more difficult | 16:47 | |
than being the giver of gifts. | 16:48 | |
So, in God's mercy, | 16:50 | |
we are not left there. | 16:56 | |
When I was a child, my parents showered gifts | 17:01 | |
upon me, not only at Christmas but throughout every year, | 17:04 | |
not just gifts of toys but gifts of life and love. | 17:08 | |
Indeed, everything I had and everything I am | 17:13 | |
was a gift from their hands. | 17:18 | |
They did not give me these gifts | 17:22 | |
because I deserve them, and indeed, there was nothing | 17:24 | |
I could give in return, even if they were looking | 17:28 | |
to be repaid. | 17:31 | |
But even when I was a young package-shaker, | 17:35 | |
there was something in me that longed to do just that, | 17:41 | |
to be the giver of gifts | 17:45 | |
and not always be the receiver of gifts. | 17:49 | |
So, one year, when I was very young, | 17:55 | |
I wrapped the plaster of Paris handprint paperweight | 18:00 | |
I had made in school and put it under the tree. | 18:07 | |
I suppose it was not the first gift I gave my parents, | 18:14 | |
but I remember the sense of anticipation I felt | 18:16 | |
at being able to give this gift. | 18:19 | |
I have no reason to believe that my parents were eager | 18:25 | |
to receive a handprint paperweight. | 18:27 | |
To my knowledge it never appeared | 18:32 | |
on any of their gift lists. | 18:34 | |
To be sure, now I can see that they did not need it. | 18:37 | |
But when they opened the package, | 18:42 | |
it was with "oohs" and "aahs." | 18:46 | |
They thanked me and embraced me. | 18:51 | |
They did not need to receive such a gift, | 18:57 | |
but I think they probably saw that I needed to give it. | 19:01 | |
And when my mother died, among the things my siblings | 19:10 | |
and I discovered in her apartment, | 19:15 | |
carefully wrapped in tissue paper and safely laid | 19:19 | |
in the back of a drawer was this handprint paperweight. | 19:23 | |
The gracious givers of everything I had | 19:32 | |
and everything I am became, for my sake, | 19:37 | |
the gracious receivers of my gift to them. | 19:41 | |
And I think God does the same for us. | 19:48 | |
God needs nothing from us. | 19:52 | |
Indeed, everything we have and everything we are, | 19:56 | |
including the great gift we celebrate this season, | 19:59 | |
we have received from God's hand. | 20:02 | |
We cannot give anything in return. | 20:07 | |
What can you give to the God who has everything? | 20:10 | |
Perhaps only a handprint paperweight | 20:16 | |
or something equally useless, like gold, frankincense, | 20:22 | |
or myrrh. | 20:28 | |
But God also sees that we feel a need | 20:32 | |
to respond to God's great gift, | 20:34 | |
and so God allows us to do just that | 20:38 | |
by receiving our own gifts of praise and devotion. | 20:41 | |
And the God who has given us everything, grace upon grace, | 20:47 | |
graciously receives that gift. | 20:53 | |
Amen. | 21:00 |